Connecting

Last Friday and Saturday I spent most of the day connecting with with family and friends and it was wonderful. I took time out to be with them and share quality time. When you take the time you are rewarded I thought. Also to do this on a regular basis and not just because I am getting bigger by the week (pregnancy does that to you :))

I have a sense of urgency to do things as later on, my priorities will change. So this was created out of my need to connect with those people that I want to keep in touch with. Reaching out is natural and necessary. We just need to make it a priority sometimes as we can easily get side tracked by the 'doing life'. You know the work, running around for others, keeping the house clean, getting stuck in our routines and not putting quality time high on the agenda.

How many times do you hear people say 'I am too busy for that?' Well in my opinion it is just a matter of priorities, we all have the same time each day, it is just the way we choose to spend it. That is the difference.

Connecting for me was and still is a priority.

Importance

Why does a wife sometimes feels like the nagger? Well I do, with some things, especially when it comes to writing cards for family overseas, I insist on having it done on time. Yet there are always other priorities for my husband, ' yes I'll do it' is his feeble standard comment.

It gets under my skin, and I know this is MY STUFF, even though on the outside he may appear like he is just delaying the obvious (my opinion of course!) yet it impacts me emotionally.

This is when you know something is important to you, it annoys you when it is not done to your satisfaction, and you cannot rest.

However the other party is busy working, troubleshooting, researching or doing something more important according to him. I just need to let him know it needs to be done and I need to just let it go.

Easier said than done!

Does anybody else have a story to tell?

Emotional Time

Someone close to me is going through a breakup, and he is shattered. He cannot see beyond his pain and dissapointment. Our hearts go out to him, as we have all been there, first loves can be painful yet so enlightening (once you give yourself distance to get over it). This impacts your interactions with everybody.

We had good news to announce and he was simply not there, it was too much for him to bear, more good news! When you are suffering you want to stay in your state. It is a process you need to go through. In my last post at Click A Life Coach I mentioned the 5 stages of completion, he needs to stay in whatever stage until he is ready to move on.

The whole world is crying, your world is crumbling and you wonder if you would EVER open your heart again. Sometimes these lessons are hard, yet they serve a purpose? What are the learnings from having been loved? and loving someone? It is the joy of living FULL out and being so happy that you want the world to share your happiness.

Relationships all serve us, the good ones and those that hurt, because we give unconditionally and we are there for them. If it ended and we were in our dream state, were we really looking at the signs? Yes more learnings.

So as our dear friend carries his heavy sad burden, there is happiness just around the corner, you just need to keep your eyes open.

Being vulnerable gives you wings!

There is NO Failure Only Feedback

During a course I did last week there was a saying 'the only failure is the failure to participate' I thought about this and to some extent I could see this as a true statement for the class. Yet deep inside I was in conflict with this. As I see it there is no failure only feedback. This gives us reason to keep going despite the pitfalls or obstacles as each step is giving us feedback towards our ultimate goal.

This is more empowering to me and thus see it as my truth. This gives me permission to try new things and be more adventurous in my troubleshooting/creativity is the key.

When you think of failure you think of giving up, of being of little worth and of failing (again). It doesn't encourage you to pick yourself up and go again, feedback does, it is like saying "see the opportunity not the threat' What would you like to see instead?

Feedback allows us to reassess without the attached emotions, we want to succeed and become creative with our strategies, I love feedback, it is neutral and empowering.

So if this sits well with you, take it on board and change your language no more failure just feedback!

Support Crew

"No man is an island, entire of itself..." (John Donne, 1572-1631). We all need support around us, this could be from a friend we can lean on to a group of people that continually support us in our quest to reach our goals.

I know during my health challenge, at one time I had many people assisting me, my naturopath, acupuncturist, chiropractor, specialist drs, massage therapists. I still use most of them as I know maintenance of health is high on my value list.

And now that I am having a baby, I will need other support crew to get me to my destination! So if you need to lift your game in one or more areas in your life then really think about who is around you helping you achieve those goals.

Coaches provide support, and if you need accountability and assistance all you need to do is ask!

We believe in you even if you don't!

So who is in your cheering quad? And do they help you get to the next place in your life?

Levels Of LOVE

During my last week, I was absorbed in my training, you see I revisted some old material and learnt some valuable lessons. Naturally all these lessons are a reflection of me of where I am at the moment. The mirror was held out high. One of the areas which I would like to share is the 3 levels of LOVE:

1) Acceptance of Self (knowing who we are and feeling good about ourselves)

2) Acceptance of Others (another way of looking at this, is respecting their model of the world)

3) Acceptance From Others. (Being able to recieve without a hidden agenda, the trust, being grateful)

Interesting perspective, I used to be the person who happily brushed off compliments and didn't allow myself to bathe in the compliment.(no. 3) Now when I do get compliments I basque in it and radiant from within and smile. and simply say THANKS.

So where do you sit in retrospect to these different levels?

Remember if you do give feeback to people to remember the sandwich principal. Good Point, Constructive Feedback/improvement, then end it on another Good Point. This makes the receiver want to take it on board whilst keeping it positive.

Quicker, Faster, Stronger

The other day I was listening to my personal development CDs as I had a long drive to a clients' site, and it was interesting I had listened to it many times and only then did I get his point about human potential.

We are always trying to do things better, faster, quicker. In sports you can see this quite clearly, they all out-do each other with timing for races, from running to swimming. Even at school kids learn more advanced concepts today than they did at my parents time, they have more tools which make it easier.

We are doing more in our time, multi-tasking work and home and social activities, as our transport is more efficient and usually on time! Once upon a time it took 2 hours to just get the milk in the mornings (my father tells me of his youth in the country in Chile, this was in the 1940s!)

We keep pushing our boundaries expecting more and doing more, and claiming that we do not have any spare time. Funny how we create such cycles in our lives. Do we keep up or is it a mask for something deeper within us?

SO with all this running around are we happier and more centered and grounded??

I wonder, maybe in the mindfulness of the now we can enjoy what is truly in front of us and appreciate it for all its worth.

Winter Blues

Well if you are in the southern hemisphere it is the First Day of winter! Just the thought of it makes me want to have a nice hot chocolate! This is the time for comfort foods and not getting out there and sticking to your exercise regime.

If this has been your winter programming, and you want to change this, then make an oath to yourself to keep active and disciplined thus not falling into the same trap. Keep up good eating habits, sign up for some indoor sport like pilates, yoga or indoor rock climbing. This will keep you motivated to stay at your peak fitness level and meet new people.

Also it will help you fight off the colds and sniffles that hang around work places. This is the perfect time for those excuses "its too cold to exercise", "it is too dark in the mornings", "just one more naughtly treat". Well you are not alone, I have had winters like this and paid the price come spring time.

It did not feel nice or do anything for my skin, it was tragic. I even wore dark colours to hide the extra baggage I was carrying, and compared myself to a bear hibernating!

I wasn't attracting the people I wanted in this state au contraire!, so I eventually got myself out and promised myself that fitness was numero uno. I managed to swim after work in the indoor heated pool, this became my ritual and my salvation from those busy office work days.

And I felt great! More energy and spring in my step, didn't take long for others to notice and I was radiant!